Somehow I ended up on a BEA panel on Worst Social Media Advice Ever with two of my favorite authors, Maureen Johnson (Name of the Star) and John Scalzi (Agent to the Stars), moderated by Ron Hogan.

In the weeks before BEA we had exchanged a number of emails to get ready. At one point Maureen really wanted to incorporate this ditty, but we talked her out of it. The morning of the panel I decided to sing Maureen a song of my own composition. I wrote the lyrics on the subway on the way to the Javits center, transposed the chords in the green room 5 minutes before we went on. Pro tip: when you do stuff at the last minute there’s no time to have stage fright. John Scalzi was the best straight white male backup singer another straight white male could hope for.

The rest of the panel was fun too. has a great summary (but that’s a Flea ukulele, not a mandolin).

Here are the lyrics

Social Media, it’s why we’re here
Social Media, no need to fear
IRL we’re awkward and tongue-tied
Online we’re all social butterflies
Never before have we needed more

Social media, connects us all
Social media, it makes us “lawl” (that’s how you pronounce LOL, right?)
I’m sure all our high school nemeses
Have much fewer followers than we
We’re no longer nerds, we’re masters of words on

Social media, here’s how it works
Social media, just be a jerk
That’s why, Maureen, I will read ta ya
All the rules of Social Media
So that you’ll love Social Media too